


Death is Brutal

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Voodoo, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-30
Updated: 2009-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 16:15:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3494795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They’re all dead.  They don’t remember why.  They’re ghosts I guess.<br/>Warning: Did you somehow not see ”They’re all dead”?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Confusion

_death angel of the dancing light_  
_run beside you in the night_  
_wonders yet for all to see_  
_too late now you turn to flee_  
\---

 

Nathan and Skwisgaar were sitting on the couch when Charles walked in. They were shocked, his usual composure was nowhere to be seen. In fact, it looked like he’d been _crying_. Neither of them were great at the comforting thing, but Nathan took a shot anyway, “Uh, Charles? Is something wrong?” Charles didn’t answer, just shook his sadly and walked away. They looked at each other in confusion. “Is I crazies, or dids the butler just blows us off?” Nathan was about to answer, but it was at this time that Toki walked through the couch, and sat down between them.

He looked half asleep, and they stared at him in shock. He noticed, “Whats? I can’t sits here?”  
“No uh.... YOU JUST WALKED THROUGH THE COUCH!” Toki looked at Skwisgaar in confusion, who was nodding too. They looked kind of scared of him, which was odd. Did he really walk _through_ the couch? Surely not. He decided to prove it to them.

Toki reached out and grabbed Skwisgaar’s arm, it felt about right. Or at least how he thought it should feel, considering he really wasn’t in the habit of rubbing on him like this. He grabbed Nathan with his other hand. His hands didn’t go through either of them. “See? You’s imagining things.” Skwisgaar looked relieved, they _did_ take a lot of drugs after all, mistakes happen. Nathan didn’t look so sure. In fact, he looked like he was thinking hard.

“What if it’s not just Toki? What if we feel normal to him because it’s all of us?”  
Skwisgaar scoffed, “Don’ts be sillies Nathans. Dat is ridiculouses.”  
“Oh yeah? Play your guitar. Go on, play it.”  
One of Skwisgaar’s many guitars was leaning against the arm of the couch. He grabbed it.  
Or tried to anyway, his hand passed right through it. Uh oh, Skwisgaar can’t play guitar, meltdown time. Nathan cut off his fit before he could really gear up, shaking him. “There’s no time for that. We have to go find Pickles and Murderface. We have to see if they’re like this too.”

And so they went, prodding Skwisgaar along ahead of them, since he seemed to have now shut down. They went to Pickles’s room first, it was the closest. He looked asleep, or at least he did until Nathan opened his mouth, “HEY PICKLES? CAN YOU HEAR ME?” Pickles groaned and rubbed his eyes. “It’d be kinda hard naught to, yer yellin’ in my face.” Toki perched on the bed. “Pickle, something’s wrong. I walks through the couches, and Skwisgaar can’t pick up his guitar.” Well _that_ sounded serious. “I needa drink...” He grabbed at the nearest bottle, only to have his hand pass through it. No. That was just too much. Pickles started to cry.

They still needed to go find Murderface, and everyone was coming apart. Toki took charge, “Nathan, carry Pickle. Skwisgaar, come on, walks with me. We gots to find Moiderface.” Nathan, seeming relieved that he didn’t have to think anymore, scooped up Pickles and draped him over his shoulder. Toki took Skwisgaar’s hand, pulling him along as Nathan followed.

Murderface was awake, and pacing the floor. He didn’t look surprised to see them. “Sho it’sh all of ush, huh? I’ve been thinking. We musht have all died, becaushe I think we’re ghostsh.”  
That hadn’t occurred to them yet. “Huh. Maybe we’re just, uh, really really high?” Pickles, still dangling down Nathan’s back, disagreed, “Nope, I’ve never been too high to drink. Ever. And I’m naught high now, even though I _really_ wish I was.”

Murderface looked at Nathan, “Sho what do we do now?” Nathan, confused, looked at Toki.  
“Okays, we go back to the couches and tries to figure this out.” And so they did, with Toki still leading Skwisgaar who didn’t seem inclined to move on his own.  
Nathan dumped Pickles on one couch, where he promptly curled up in a little ball. Murderface sat down next to him. Nathan sat on the other, with Toki beside him. Skwisgaar, when prompted, sat on the other side, then curled up as well with his head in Toki’s lap. Toki began stroking his hair reassuringly. 

Nathan was getting pretty worried, “Do you think they’re gonna be okay?”  
Murderface flapped a hand dismissively. “Picklesh will be fine, he’sh jusht not ushed to shobriety. Give him a little time. I’m not too shure about Shwisgaar though, he’sh really messhed up.”  
Toki automatically reached for his candy bowl, then sat back with a sigh as his fingers passed through it. “Moiderface? How you think we died? Why are we’s still here? And where is our bodies?”  
“Whoa, brutal. We could like, see our own dead bodies. Good song idea. Fuck, I can’t use my recorder. Being dead is really brutal.”

They saw a Klokateer come into the room. Murderface got up and walked over to him. He waved a hand in front of his face. No response at all. So he punched him. Or tried to, his hand went right through with no resistance. This pissed him off, so he tried to piss on the poor guy. And, not surprisingly, his _piss_ also passed straight through the hooded figure. Thoroughly disgusted that he couldn’t even piss on anyone anymore, Murderface stomped back to his place on the couch. 

Nathan was trying to think again. “We need a plan.” Toki nodded, “You two go finds the managers. He’s always on the phones, listen, figures out what happened.”  
“Uh, okay. But... he locks his door?”  
“You can walks through it silly. Go. I will watches them.” It was unlikely he could untangle himself from Skwisgaar anyway, who had now wrapped around him in his freaked out state.  
Nathan scooped up the ball that was Pickles and placed him on the other couch next to Toki. Then he and Murderface set out to try to find the story.

Toki watched them go, and patted Pickles’s side. “Pickle? Are yous going to be alright?”  
“Yeah. I jest need a little more time. What about him? He gonna make it?”  
“I don’t knows. He’s pretty messed up.”  
“Awful nice of ya to let him cling like that, he’s always been kinda a dick to ya. Ha, who ever thought you’d be the one takin’ charge of us all? Always thought it’s be Nathan.”  
Toki just shrugged. He hadn’t really decided to be the leader, he’d just stepped up because it needed done. They lapsed back into silence, Toki still petting Skwisgaar’s hair.

Nathan and Murderface were standing in Charles office, listening to him talk on the phone. Since they could only hear this side of the conversation and the other person was doing most of the talking, they weren’t learning much. They had been able to confirm that they were indeed dead, but not the reason why. It wasn’t long before they got bored and frustrated, and wandered off to see what else was going on.  
After walking through a few Klokateers, another horrible new fact dawned on Murderface. “Nathan. We go right through people. We can’t get laid now.”  
“Huh? Oh god, that really sucks!”  
Well, we learned shomething, letsh go back.”

They were glad to see that Pickles was sitting up now, although he still didn’t look too good. Skwisgaar seemed unchanged, or possibly even worse. Toki looked at them expectantly.  
“Well um, we’re really dead. And we still don’t know how.”  
Seeing Toki’s disappointed expression, Murderface came to Nathan’s defense, “Come on, that guysh sho boring. He doeshn’t even shay much. But we _did_ learn shomething”  
“Um yeah. We can walk through people. Anybody. So that means we can’t, like, have sex with them anymore.”  
Pickles stared at then wide-eyed. This was truly horrible news. Skwisgaar just twitched, and tightened his already painful grip on Toki.

So they sat a while. Death was brutal, they couldn’t drink, get high, fuck, play music, or even watch TV. They were really bored. Pickles, fortunately, seemed to have recovered and was now just as bored as the rest of them. Skwisgaar seemed unchanged, and Toki was getting really tired of being confined by him.  
It was time to eat, except wait- they couldn’t do that either. After a brief discussion, it was decided that they might feel better if they sat in the hot tub. Then they could at least pretend things were normal again, even if just for a little while.  
Toki shifted Skwisgaar into a position where he could just carry him, since it looked like he wasn’t going to let go, and off they went.

It never occurred to them that the hot tub might have been turned off, but fortunately it wasn’t. They all climbed in, assuming their usual positions. Once in the water, Skwisgaar finally relaxed his hold, allowing Toki to set him in his usual place. It wasn’t the same. Instead of the usual massaging feeling, the jets merely passed through them, but it was still better than just sitting on the couches. Toki discovered that since he didn’t breathe anymore, he could just sit on the bottom, and so he did. Of course, this caused him to miss the discussion on the surface.

It was Pickles who dared bring up the subject, “Okay, this is how I see it. We can’t touch other people, we go right thru ‘em. So if we ever wanna have sex again, it’s gonna have to be with each other.” Nathan and Murderface looked like they might prefer just going without, but Skwisgaar immediately started studying them all, which was quite disturbing. Great, they were going to spend eternity trying not to get raped by Skwisgaar. What kind of hell _was_ this?! 

While they were soaking, Charles came in. He ast in a nearby chair, just staring at them. Well, they knew he couldn’t actually see or hear them, but he was staring at the hot tub anyway. As they watched, Charles dropped his head in his hands, crying softly. They were stunned, having had no idea he cared about them so much.  
Nathan, illogically, thought volume might help. “HEY CHARLES!! WE’RE SORRY FOR CALLING YOU A ROBOT ALL THE TIME!!!!”  
But of course Charles heard nothing, and did not respond. The bellow, however, did get Toki’s attention and he resurfaced.  
They all watched in uncomfortable silence until Charles got up and left the room.

After a few more hours of wallowing in self pity in the hot tub, they decided to see if ghosts could sleep. It would pass the time, if they could. Since they didn’t want to separate, they headed for Nathan’s room. He had the biggest bed, so it was the logical choice.  
Since it was his bed, Nathan got in the middle. Pickles and Toki got on either side of him. Skwisgaar climbed in next to Toki, and immediately resumed clinging to him. Once out of the hot tub, he had immediately regressed back to his previous state. He was turning out to be very insecure. Murderface laid down on the other side of Pickles.  
It took a while, but it turns out that ghosts _can_ sleep.

 

Toki woke up to the bed being made _through_ them. Klokateers were cleaning, as usual. He was sandwiched between Nathan and Skwisgaar, and his back was sore from sleeping on Skwisgaar’s arms which were still wrapped around him. Since nobody else was awake, and there was nothing to do anyway, he shifted the arms to a new spot and went back to sleep.  
The next time he woke up, it sounded like the others were at least somewhat awake.  
Murderface suggested they go looking for their bodies. Surprisingly (or not), he said knew where the Mordhaus morgue was. Maybe, just maybe, they could simply climb back in them?

And so off they all went, following Murderface deep into the lowest levels of the haus. He did know where the morgue was. They paused outside the door, wondering if they were ready to confront their dead bodies. Nathan, and of course Murderface, seemed okay with it. Pickles was shaky, but looked determined. Toki thought he was ready, but Skwisgaar definitely wasn’t. He was shaking badly, and had rewrapped himself on Toki, hiding his face against his neck. Toki patted him in what he hoped was a reassuring manner, and shuffled them forward through the door, following the others.

There were a few Klokateers on the many tables, since daily fatalities were common. But where were their bodies? Again, Murderface seemed to know, “They would have put us in the drawersh, come on.”  
They crossed the room to the far wall, which was set with small metal doors. He read the tags quickly, pulling out their drawers.  
They all stared in shock.  
There is just nothing quite like staring into the cold dead eyes of your own corpse.

The lack of visible injuries on them was puzzling. “So uh, what did we die of anyway?” Nathan finally broke the silence. Good question. Pickles cautiously studied himself. “Dude, maybe we O.D.ed?”  
“Well who’sh going to climb into their body firsht?”  
Pickles stepped up, despite his nervousness, “I’ll do it.” He climbed onto his tray, and carefully lined himself up. Then he lay down, disappearing as he fell into his body.  
They waited. Nothing happened. “Pickle? Are you in theres?”  
“Yeah Toki, I’m right here. Guys, I don’t think this is working” He sat back up, without his body. With a sigh, he hopped off the tray.  
Deciding this wasn’t going to do it, they closed the drawers and left the morgue.

Although once again incompacitated by Skwisgaar, Toki had been thinking. If he could use a computer, he could have looked it up in an instant, but as things were, he had to just try to remember. “We needs to go to the manager’s office. I tells you why on the ways. Skwisgaar, we’re out of the morgue, lets go of me so I can walk.”  
Skwisgaar cautiously detached himself, and they set out.  
“Okays, look. I’ve been trying to remember this. I reads about the poterguises.”  
“Poltergeists?”  
“Ya, those. They is ghosts that can make stuff move. If we can moves stuff, the manager will know we’s still here and help us. Maybe we can ever writes him a note?”  
That.... made a lot of sense actually. Yeah.

Soon they walked through the door to Charles’s office. He was on the phone, again. Pickles shook his sadly, “Damn, we’re dead and he still can’t stop working. Toki? You remembered how this works yet?”  
“Kind of. They were usually really angrys when they died. Or because of hows they died.”  
“Um, we like, don’t _know_ how we died.”  
“I don’t know, just tries stuff. Maybe something will works.”

And so they tried everything they could think of, but nothing seemed to work.  
Eventually they just gave up. Toki suggested they go back to the hot tub to discuss things, since that seemed to be the only place where Skwisgaar was mostly normal. Not that they really expected him to come up with a solution, but stranger things have happened.  
Soon they were all doing what passed for soaking these days.  
And surprisingly, Skwisgaar _did_ bring up something they hadn’t considered. “Whys have we not hads our Viking funerals? Whys is we in de frigorater?”  
Oh. Why _hadn’t_ Charles given them a funeral? Maybe he had some plan? Toki made a decision. “Okays, we needs to be watching the butlers, finds out what he’s planning. We’ll take turns. Skwisgaar will goes with me, since he won’t leave me alones. Nathan and Moiderface can bes a team. Pickle, you okays by youreslf?”  
“Yeah Toki, that’s fine. I’ll even take first watch.”

And so Pickles went off to spy on Charles.  
The others stayed where they were, since there was really nothing to do. Skwisgaar starting bitching about not being able to get laid, which didn’t help anyone’s mood. They all missed sex, of course, but they weren’t _whining_ about it. But when he started hinting that they should let him fuck _them_ , that was just too much.  
Murderface looked simotaneously flattered and very offended. Nathan just sighed, this really wasn’t that unexpected. “Look. If you’re that horny, just jack off. You can still touch yourself.”  
“Fines. I does that thens.” And he proceeded to do just that, much to their discomfort.

They migrated to the bed, Pickles trading out with Toki and Skwisgaar on Charles watch duty. So as the others tried to sleep, Toki dragged the once again unresponsive Skwisgaar through the halls. Funny how it was still creepy in the dark, even though he was a ghost now. Some things just don’t seem to change over a little thing like death.  
When that walked in, Charles was still working. He seemed to be researching something online now. Toki moved behind him, to read over his shoulder.

It wasn’t easy. Charles was a very fast reader, and was clicking back and forth between several open pages, but Toki did his best to try to follow. Several of the pages were in a language that he was pretty sure was French, and he could read nothing at all. So Charles could read French, well that really wasn’t very surprising. Skwisgaar knew at least some French, but unfortunately he was back to being useless. Too bad Charles hadn’t decided to do his research in the hot tub....  
Even the pages that were in English had a lot of strange words in them. And most of the pages had strange intricate designs in pretty colors. Charles seemed to be studying them closely.  
Toki kept reading, trying to memorize as many of the unfamiliar words as he could.

He stayed until Charles turned off the computer and headed to bed. Then he headed for bed himself, towing Skwisgaar. He climbed on the bed, waking them. There was no need to send Nathan and Murderface to watch Charles sleep, but he wanted to ask about what he’d seen before he forgot those words.  
Nathan, noticing his agitation, asked, “So Toki, did you learn anything?”

“Nathan, what’s voodoo mean?”  
Yes, he asked Nathan, but it was Murderface who answered.  
“Oh schit, this ish bad. Toki, you were reading the schreen, right?”  
“Ya, but I don’ts know most of those words.”  
“I need you to think hard, did you shee the word Bokor? Thish ish really important.”  
“Ya I did, and some pretty designs.”  
“And the robot wash really intereshted in them?”  
“Ya, he was studying thems real hard.”  
“Schit. He’sh gonna turn ush into zombiesh.”


	2. Deth Zombies

They were all sitting on Nathan’s bed, curious as to what might be learned from this new and unexpected source of information. Toki prompted him, “Moiderface? Tells us how you know about voodoo.”  
“It’sh kind of a long sthory. I shpent a few years living with my grandmother on New Orleans, and she wash a voodoo priestessh.”  
“Dude, we’ve met your grandmother, no way is she some witch doctor. Well, maybe a witch....”  
“No, my other grandmother. My mom’sh mom. She’sh dead now.”  
That made sense, they had never really heard anything about his mom’s side of the family. But then something occurred to Nathan, “Hey. I thought all the voodoo people were like, black.”  
“Yeah. Sho?”  
“So um, your grandmother was black?”  
“Yesh, and your grandfather wash Yannemango. Sho? What difference doesh it make?”

Pickles didn’t feel that people’s racial backgrounds were very important at the moment. “Okay, who cares, doesn’t matter. Murderface, go on, tell us what ya know about voodoo and zombies.”  
Toki was still confused, “And whys is this bad? Don’ts we want to be alive agains?”  
“Becaushe we wouldn’t be alive, voodoo can’t do that. All he can do ish reanimate our soullessh coepshes.”  
“Do, uh, zombies really like, eat brains?”  
“Yesh, if you do it wrong. Not really brainsh, becaushe they’re kinda hard to get at, but people, yesh.”  
“Dude, do ya think Charlie will do it wrong?”  
“It’sh very likely. Actually it’sh pretty much guaranteed. You can’t just read a book and do thish schit, it takesh yearsh and yearsh.” 

Enjoying his time in the spotlight despite the circumstances, Murderface assumed his best storytelling pose. “There’sh two kindsh of voodoo priestsh, and you can’t be both. The Houngan ish the “good” one, like white magic. And the Bokor is the one who ushes black magic, the one who can make zombiesh. Zombiesh are jusht animated dead bodiesh. Shometimesh they will obey thier creator, but it’sh hard to keep them under control, you have to be really powerful to do that. They’re not intelligent. They don’t last very long anwyay, shince they rot.”  
This sounded.... horrible, really. Nathan, who was (or had been) rather fond of zombie movies, thought of something else, “If he makes us into zombies, and we um, bite people... will they turn into zombies too? Or what?”  
“No, it doeshn’t work that way. We might kill them, or they might get an infection from getting bit by a corpshe, but they won’t turn into anything.”

“We gots to find a way to stops him!”  
“We can’t Toki. We can’t do anything, we’ve tried. We’re dead, dude.”  
“But I don’t wants to walk around a corner and runs into my body eating somebody!”  
Great, lovely thought. Gee thanks Toki. But he was right, that sort of thing is not something you want to be surprised with.  
“Oh crap. What if he’s like, already doing it?”  
“Oh dude, we’re supposed to be watching him. I totally fergot.”  
“Moiderface, Nathan, you goes. It’s your turn anyways.”

And so Nathan and Murderface went to find Charles, and possibly watch him do voodoo. Toki sat, looking out the window, with Skwisgaar curled around him like some freakish cat. He was really bored, it _sucked_ not being able to do anything.  
Pickles was bored too, so he decided to try to get Skwisgaar back on their level. This helpless clingy act was even more irritating that his usual bitchy self. He untangled one long arm from Toki, and held it, examining the fingers. Pickles put one in his mouth, biting experimentally. Surely a threat to his precious fingers would make Skwisgaar react? Nope, nothing. Giving up, he dropped the hand, which immediately snaked back around Toki.  
“Dude, he’s not gonna handle this if it gets any worse. You’re gonna end up carrying him everywhere.”  
Toki just shrugged, since there wasn’t really anything he could do about it.

 

It took them a while to find Charles, since he wasn’t in his office. After checking the surveillance room (who needs keys?) they finally they located him. He was in a small room near the morgue. They hurried down to see what he was doing.  
He had brought in all their bodies. He had also drawn some freaky design on the floor, which Murderface said was a veve. It seemed he was really going to try to do this.  
“We need to move away, thish ish powerful schit.”  
“But we’re um, dead. So what could happen?”  
“Jusht trusht me.”  
Nathan shrugged, and they retreated to the end of the hallway.

They waited. There were strange noises, strange smells. They could hear Charles chanting in some other language, which Murderface confirmed was French.  
“He’sh doing a pretty good job actually, but it’sh not gonna matter. He can’t bring ush back to life like thish.”  
“So uh, are we zombies yet?”  
“Almosht, he’sh nearly done.”  
They waited until Murderface pronounces it finished, and then went to look.

Charles was slumped on the floor, looking exhausted. The five new zombies were staggering around the room in a curious manner, their milky eyes completely devoid of intelligence. He watched them, his expression flickering between pride, terror, and disappointment.  
They backed through the wall, having seen enough.  
“God that’s horrible. He can’t think those things are really us, can he?”  
“I think he’sh jusht deluding himshelf. Well, we better go tell them it’sh done.”  
“Wait. Maybe he’ll say something.”  
Sure enough, Charles pulled out his phone and made a quick call. They listened in shock. Surely he couldn’t be serious? But it sounded like he was. They hurried to tell the others.

Toki and Pickles were thumb wrestling, of all things. Well, it passed the time. They looked up.  
“Whats did you learn? Are we’s zombies now?”  
“Yesh, we shaw them. He did a pretty good job too, maybe they won’t eat anyone.”  
“And it gets worse- He’s taking them to the studio. He’s gonna try to make them play our stuff.”  
“No dude! I don’t want some dead guy touchin’ my drums!”  
“But Pickle, that dead guy is you.”  
Pickles didn’t seem to find that at all reassuring. Toki sighed, “Well comes on everybodys, let’s go see what happens.”

The hurried to the studio, not wanting to look but unable to stay away. Charles and his.... creations.... were already there. He didn’t seem to be able to control them very well. They watched as he led the Pickle-zombie to the drums, pushing him down on the stool. Then he had to go collect the Skwis-zombie, who was trying to get out the door. He herded him back, just in time to push the Pickle-zombie back in place. The Toki-zombie and the Murder-zombie seemed to be less active, or else better behaved. They were staying fairly still. Charles put a microphone in the Nate-zombie’s hand. He bit it.

“Uh, Murderface? Can zombies sing?”  
“No, they can’t talk at all. They might be able to grunt a little, but that’sh it. He musht have misshed that part when he did hish reshearch.”  
They kept watching, in horrified fascination.  
As Charles was trying to pry the microphone from the Nate-zombie’s mouth, the Skwis-zombie wandered over and bit him on the shoulder. He grunted in pain, whirled around, and pulled something out of his pocket. They heard a sharp crack, and the zombie jittered briefly. Okay, he had a tazer.  
The Pickle-zombie, who had been approaching him too, backed up. Apparently they _did_ have some sort of basic survival instincts.

Charles moved to the corner, slumping in a chair. He looked like someone who has just had their last friend executed before their eyes.  
His zombies were now wandering all over the room randomly, heedless of the instruments he’d hung on them.  
Even thought they _knew_ the zombies couldn’t touch them any more than a person could, it was still incredibly freaky to be in the room with them. Toki instinctively tried to back up as the Skwis-zombie wandered his way, but was hampered but the real Skwisgaar who was, of course, wrapped around him again.  
The zombie passed through them.  
If ghosts could puke, he would have. Ugh. He finally managed to stagger back and out of the room.

Toki had run out of tolerance for all this clinging. Getting walked through by a monster because of it was the last straw. He pried Skwisgaar loose, holding him at an arm’s length.  
“Skwisgaar! Wakes up, you has to stop this shit! I _know_ yous stronger than this! You’s acting like that damn zombie.... no, it moves around more that yous. Damnit Skwisgaar!”  
The others joined them, looking pretty dazed by it all. Pickles took in the new scene, “So ya got tired of it, huh? Doesn’t look like he’s takin’ the hint.”  
“Ya I know.... we needs to go to the hot tub, I has to talks to him about this. It’s the only place he will talks.”  
“Yeah, I wonder why that is? We’ll go with ya.”  
And so they all left, hoping Charles wouldn’t get eaten by the zombies. Anyway, it’s not like that could do anything about it if he did.

 

Once in the hot tub, Skwisgaar was mostly normal again. Toki took his hand. “Look Skwisgaar, I don’t minds if you holds my hand, but you has to stop hanging on me alls the time. You gots me run over by a zombie even.”  
“I knows it. I’m sorry.”  
“Why’s you keep hanging on me anyways? And why me?”  
“I don’t’s know. It just feels safer dat way. I don’t knows why.”  
“Dude, and why do you only talk in here?”  
“I don’ts know.... Stop askings me all dese questions.”  
“Skwisgaar, just tries to explain. I wants to understands.”  
Skwisgaar sighed, a heartbreaking little sound, “It’s just..... I’ve lost everythings. All I ams is a guitar players. If I can’ts do dat, den I is nothings. Toki, you... I don’t knows, you makes me feel like I’s not coming apart. You keeps me togethers.”  
“That’sh kinda gay.”  
“Murderface, we’re dead. Who gives a shit? Shut the fuck up.”

They sat there a while longer, no knowing what they should do next. Would it be worth it to keep watching Charles? Where were the zombies now anyway? Hopefully not in their rooms, they really didn’t want those things in their rooms.  
Finally, Nathan broke the silence, “Fuck it. Let’s just go to bed.”  
And so they headed for Nathan’s room. As they rounded a corner, they encountered one of the zombies eating a random Klokateer. Oh, it was the Pickle-zombie, the smallest. It had probably managed to escape from wherever Charles had penned them up. It couldn’t see them or anything, but the sight of the greyish undead thing what was essentially Pickles (used to be Pickles?) _eating_ someone was quite unnerving. They hurried past.

There were no zombies in Nathan’s room. Not that zombies could hurt them, but still, those things were really fucking creepy. They assumed their now usual places on the bed.  
Nathan wondered if, assuming things ever could possible go back to normal, would they all still want to sleep in his bed? And really, how is it that they could still sleep anyway?  
They lay together, Skwisgaar respectfully _not_ squeezing the hell out of Toki for a change, until they fell asleep.

 

Overnight, all the zombies somehow got loose and were now roaming Mordhaus. Klokateers, afraid to harm these things that were (sort of) their bosses, were fleeing randomly in attempts to not get caught and eaten. A fair number had been bitten at some point. Some others, having little to go on but popular zombie movies, were shooting the injured before they could turn and join the legions of the undead. It was total chaos. Bodies were piling up everywhere.

So they woke up that morning to the sounds of screaming and gunfire, so much for things getting back to normal. Pickles stuck his head out the door, then quickly ran back and jumped on the bed. He looked quite traumatized.  
“Dude.... the zombies.... they’re attackin' everybody. An’ the Klok’teers are killin’ each other.”  
Toki looked thoughtful, patiently detaching Skwisgaar who had reflexively wrapped onto him again, “Looks. They can’t do nothings to us. We needs to go see what’s going one. Maybes they eats the butler.”  
“Oh shit, Uh, what if they did? Then they zombies would like, be in charge and everything. Brutal.”  
“We gots to look. Gets up, come on.”

Somewhat reluctantly, they walked through the door. Oh look, there were their zombies, they’d formed a little pack. They were catching people and tearing them apart. Apparently they’d gotten tired of eating them, because now they were just killing.  
These things still looked like them, basically, but were clearly already starting to rot. They were by now an odd greenish-grey hue that put their attempts at corpse paint to shame. It didn’t seem to have affected their strength yet though.  
As they watched, the Nate-zombie picked up a Klokateer and threw him into a wall headfirst. Whoa, broken heads really _did_ make a smashing melon sound.  
Freaked out and heavily armed, other Klokateers also prowled the halls, shooting anyone who was attacked.  
“They can’t hurts us, remember?” Toki gave Nathan a little push to get him moving, and they all edged past the carnage.

Almost automatically, they headed for Charles’s office. It’s just where they always went when they had a problem. It never occurred to them that he wouldn’t be there.  
The walked through the door, and were shocked at the sight that greeted him. Charles _was_ there, and he looked like shit. His jacket and tie where nowhere to be seen, and there was blood on his rumpled white shirt. He’d obviously been bitten several more times. He looked like someone had drop-kicked him down a long flight of stairs. On second though, that could quite possibly have actually happened.  
At least there were no zombies in the room.

“Moiderface, are you sures that zombies is not contagious?”  
“Yesh, but that wouldn’t sthop the Klokateers from shooting him if they shaw he’sh been bitten.”  
“Oh god this sucks!”  
“Moiderface.... How can you kills a zombie?”  
“Well, the horror moviesh got that part right anyway, a bullet in the head is the easiesht way.”  
“Dude, Toki, no! How can ya even think about that?”  
“Pickle, you saw thems, they rottings. Does you want to gets back in that body? I don’t.”

They watched as Charles fiddled with a large handgun. He was clearly either trying to make up his mind or work up his nerve, it was impossible to tell which.  
Then he strode over, picked up the gun, and walked to the door. Only to whirl around and throw the gun back on the desk, resuming his pacing. Well, they had to admit, he definitely wasn’t a robot.  
“Yep, he’sh gonna kill ush. He’sh jusht working up the nerve.”  
Skwisgaar, who had be stealthily inching closer, suddenly rewrapped around Toki, who decided to tolerate it for the moment.  
They stood close together, seeking what comfort they could from each other as they waited for Charles to make his move.

Suddenly, Charles grabbed his jacket off the floor where he’d discarded it and put it on, hiding his bite marks. He grabbed the gun again, but paused at the door.  
They waited.  
With a determined look, Charles flung open the door and headed toward the commotion down the hall.  
Toki carefully detached Skwisgaar, giving him a long look. Then taking him by the hand, he headed out the door after Charles. The others shrugged and followed, unwilling to be left behind.

They came upon the Murder-zombie first, dismembering a Klokateer. Or what used to be a Klokateer. Whatever. It saw Charles, and crouched to spring.  
He shot it between the eyes.  
It went down and didn’t move. Charles resumed his trek, and they followed, speechless.  
They turned a corner, and there were the Toki-zombie and the Pickle-zombie. They also sprang at Charles. He shot the Pickle-zombie first since it was closer, then the Toki-zombie who was nearly on him. He shot it to, the gun mere inches away as he pulled the trigger.  
Charles was crying.  
They were still speechless, seeing your undead corpses gunned down will do that to you.

They found the Skwis-zombie next. Someone had run out of patience and taken a whack at this one, one side of its head was dented. It was slower and less coordinated than the others, probably because of its injury.  
Charles shot it anyway, and continued on. They followed. Only Nathan’s was left now.  
Then they saw it, a truly frightening creature.  
It threw a torso at Charles, knocking him down, then sprang on him, snapping at his throat.  
Charles somehow managed to hold onto the gun, and shot it as they struggled. While not a kill shot, it did knock it back enough for him to take aim on the head.  
He fired. The Nate-zombie went down, finally finished.  
Charles just lay where he was, sobbing. 

 

Unnerved, they retreated to Nathan’s room.  
Their bodies were really dead now, yet they were somehow still here.


	3. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Because I posted it as a 3 part, but then there was more)

Order had been restored in Mordhaus. The remaining Klokateers were cleaning up, and the injured were now being treated instead of shot.  
After noticing unusual happenings through a window, the band had wandered outside to watch.  
The manager and many of the remaining Klokateers were hard at work, making huge piles of wood. It seemed that they were finally going to have their Viking funerals. They decided to wait and watch.

Towards dusk, their bodies were carried out and placed together on the largest, central pile. Klokateers (and parts of Klokateers) were placed on the five surrounding piles. This was a bit worrisome, something about that pattern....  
“Dude, it’s a pentagram. Do ya think he’s tryin’ somethin’ else?”  
“No, it’sh.... I think it’sh a jusht a homage. ”  
“I thinks he learns his lesson, is just a funerals.”

When all the bodies had been placed, Charles and five others took up torches. There was no discussion, it seemed they’s been instructed previously. Charles walked to the center pile, theirs, and the Klokateers moved to their assigned piles.  
He raised his torch, and then as one they lit the pyres. The flames spread quickly, reaching high, obscuring then consuming the bodies.  
It seemed that everyone still alive had come out, standing quietly and paying their respects. In the distance the yard wolves began to howl, a truly fitting soundtrack.

They all stood there for hours, until the fires burned down and finally died out. The bodies were gone, nothing but ash remained.  
Attending your own funeral was brutal. Wait- _everyone_ attends their own funeral, that’s kind of the whole point. But to be there, _and_ to be dead.... still not working....  
“Watching your body get burned up is brutal.”  
They all had to agree.

It was Toki who finally realized something they all should have thought of long before now. “Why isn’t there Klokateers” Why is it just us?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“There’s lots of deads Klokateers, so whys aren’t they heres with us?”  
“Whoa. Um, I don’t know. Maybe we’re like, special? Or something?”  
It was pretty weird, now that they thought about it.

\----

They were watching Charles again, and had been for the last several days. Something about him just seemed..... different lately. Different enough to catch their attention, but then, they had very little to entertain them anymore.  
Now he was just sitting at his desk, doing nothing. Actually, that alone was very odd and out of character. They watched him, worried.  
With a sigh, Charles opened a drawer and took out a gun, placing it on the desk in front of him.  
He sat a bit longer, just staring at it. They really didn’t like where this looked to be heading.  
Slowly, he picked up the gun and placed the barrel in his mouth.  
They watched in horror, _knowing_ there was nothing they could do.  
He closed his eyes.

There was a knock at the door.  
Charles opened his eyes, looking irritated. Couldn’t he even kill himself in peace around here?  
After a long moment, he set the gun out of sight and went to the door.  
It was one of his special surveillance team Klokateers, the ones he had monitoring certain frequencies around the clock. They had been instructed to report immediately if they heard anything, but there had been nothing, nothing at all.  
The man wordlessly handed him a CD, then turned and headed back to where he’d come from.

He returned to his desk and put the gun back on it, laying the CD beside it. He seemed to be deciding between the two.  
They watched helplessly, hoping he wouldn’t do it. No Charles, not over us. You’re better than that.  
Skwisgaar hid his face against Toki, who held him. Pickles leaned against him from the other side. Nathan and Murderface were just staring.  
Charles picked up the gun, seeming to study it. He again raised it to his face, but couldn’t seem to stop looking at that CD. It seemed he had decided, and they knew how much he hated to change is mind.

Then, with a sudden scream, Charles flung the gun across the room (and through Nathan), and turned on his computer. He loaded the CD with a manic gleam in his eyes, the look of a madman who desperately wants to hope but doesn’t quite dare.  
They all came to stand around him, very curious now.

There was no video, just a voices. The quality sucked, but it was still perfectly understandable:  
“But Dethklok is gone, we’ve confirmed it.”  
“No, they are not gone, simply lost.”  
“But we’ve confirmed that they died, and their bodies were cremated.”  
“It was too late. Dethklok has grown to powerful to be killed. The prophecy states that, in time, they will rise again.”  
Then silence. That was all there was. That’s it.

They looked at each other in confusion. They would be back? When? _How_?  
Charles looked determined, like he once again had a purpose. As long as they might come back, he would wait.  
Charles Foster Ofdensen had decided to stay among the living. Maybe someday, maybe they would be back. All he could do is keep everything ready for them. He owed them that much, at least. Yes, he would wait.


	4. Chapter 4

*A couple years have passed since the Viking funerals. Charles has kept things running, and Mordhaus maintained. Oh yeah, and Skwisgaar eventually started talking again.*

 

Toki woke up before the others, he just had never managed to break that habit. He was laying on his side with his back pressed against Nathan and his arm thrown over Skwisgaar. Propping himself up, he saw Pickles curled up in a little ball, in his usual place between Nathan and Murderface. They were all still asleep. Still tired, he scrunched himself back down between his bandmates, pressing his face into Skwisgaar’s hair. 

Skwisgaar’s hair was tickling his nose. This was never a problem, why was it bothering him now? Suddenly it dawned on him, it tickled because he was _breathing_. He sat up.  
“Wakes up! Everybody, wakes up! I thinks we’re not dead anymores!”  
They weren’t good at waking up fast, no matter what the news was. Pickles didn’t even uncurl, just cracked an eye. “It’s just wishful thinkin’ dude. Go back ta sleep.”  
Skwisgaar was now sitting up too, taking stock. “I’s thinkings he might be rights. Something is differents.”

Murderface was about to agree with Pickles, but that was when Toki whacked him in the face with a pillow. _That_ got everybody’s attention. If they could move stuff again, then they must not be dead anymore. Right?  
Whoa, being alive was.... kind of scary actually. If they really were alive again?  
Accidentally proving this, Pickles walked into the door with a thud. (When you’ve been walking through them for years, you tend to forget about little things like turning doorknobs.)  
Rubbing his head, Pickles opened the door and they all cautiously ventured into the hall.

There was a loud scream, and they turned to see a Klokateer fleeing. Okay, they were definitely visible.... and apparently scary?  
Before they could think of where to go first, the manager came racing down the hall and threw himself at them, trying and failing to hug them all at once. They hugged him back to be polite about it, but it wasn’t like they missed him or anything. After all, they’d seen him every day.  
“You’re back, oh thank god, you’re back!”  
“Pfft, we’s never even leaves.”  
“What? But you died!”  
“Um, yeah. But we’ve been here like, all along.”

Charles stared at them, wondering. Was it actually somehow possible that they were telling the truth? He had to know more. “Will you come to my office and talk to me? I want to know more about this.”  
They all either shrugged or nodded, and followed him to the office.  
He gestured to his sitting area, and they all took a seat. There was an awkward silence, as nobody seemed to know where to begin. 

Then Skwisgaar spotted one of his guitars across the room, and lunged for it. He snatched it up, hardly able to believe that he could, and began to play. The strings were old and flat, but he didn’t _care_. Fingers flying, he sank to the floor with tears running down his face.  
They watched, entranced. They all missed their music too, of course, but _damn_....

Finally it was Pickles who broke the silence, “Dude, if we ever die again.... no voodoo, none of that kind of stuff, just bury us, burn us, whatever. Okie?”  
“Oh, you knew about that?”  
“Um yeah. But like I said, we’ve been here all along. We watched you a lot because we were bored. Really, couldn’t you have turned on the TV or something? Sometimes?”  
“Ya, and don’ts you kill yourself over us eithers, we’s not worth its.”  
“Oh my.... you all saw....?”  
“Yep.”

“Oh, and thanks for leaving the hot tub on for us.”  
“I just couldn’t bear to turn it off. I even sat in it some.”  
“Yah we know dude, we were in there with ya.”  
“Ya, Skwisgaar even tried to have sexes with you in there once, but it didn’t works.”  
“Thank you Toki, for that truly disturbing piece of information.”  
Charles turned to Skwisgaar, who was still sitting on the floor playing, “Skwisgaar, I know you can hear me. If you ever die again, do _not_ try to have sex with me. That’s just wrong, you understand?”  
“Ja, you would prefers to be doing its now?”  
“What? No! I think we’re going to need to get some groupies in here very soon.”

“Oh yeah, sex! I need like 100 groupies. I haven’t had sex in years.”  
“Ya you has, we all has.”  
“Dude, it doesn’t count if you’re dead.”  
“I thought it onlies doesn’t counts if you’re high?”  
“If you’re high, or if you’re dead.”  
“It’sh not gay if you’re dead. Becaushe you don’t have any other optionsh.”  
Charles was.... not very surprised, actually. “So I take it you’ve all been having ghost orgies or something?”  
Pickles snickered, “Somethin’ yep.”

Skwisgaar stood up. “Come ons, we needs to know if we all can still be playings.”  
Charles nodded, “Good idea, everyone up for a little band practice? You’ve had a few years off, you’re probably a little rusty.”  
They gave him a few dirty looks for that comment, but no real argument. They were too worried that he was right. What if they sucked now?  
So they headed to the studio, Skwisgaar unnecessarily bring along the guitar he was holding, not wanting to be without one for even a moment.

They had largely avoided this room, their inability to play anything made it too depressing. It was good to see that it had been kept clean. Curious, they inspected their instruments.  
Skwisgaar noted the old strings critically, the sound would be flat and dull. Oh well, that couldn’t be helped.  
Pickles was examining his drum kit. “Gonna have ta be a short practice I think, the cymbals will probably hold but these heads are kinda brittle. They’re gonna break.”  
Charles looked apologetic, “Sorry about that, but I had no way of knowing when you might come back. It seemed pointless to change them. I’ll order new ones immediately.”  
Toki gave him a reassuring pat, “Is okays, we understand.”

They took their positions, ready, and yet not. Oh well, they had to try. Pickles tapped out a count, and they started playing. The old strings did dull the sound, but it was still fine. Nathan joined in. It seemed they hadn’t lost it after all, that was very good to know.  
Then, about halfway through the song, there was an odd beat and Pickles stopped playing.

They wound down, Skwisgaar last, and turned to him. He shrugged gesturing, “Sarry, the bass head just split, it’s done for. I need new heads before we can play again.”  
Oh. Well that sucked, but.... several year old drum heads? Yeah, that’s going to happen.

It was about that time that they realized they were hungry. Having been incapable of eating for years, they’d gotten out of the habit of noticing things like that. So off they went, in search of food (or rather, somebody to feed them.) Charles followed along, unwilling to let them out of his sight just yet.  
Jean-Pierre, who had insisted on staying, was overjoyed to see them again. He immediately whipped up everything they wanted (yes, he’s that good), and served them with what passed for his smile.

Charles watched them, he just couldn’t seem to stop watching them. It was so good to have them back. He noted a new closeness and harmony among them, as if years of being cut off from the rest of the world had truly brought them together. He hovered around them the rest of the day, amazed by the lack of picking and fighting.  
They didn’t do much, they seemed to have forgotten that they could. So they watched some TV, sat in the hot tub, mostly were just pretty quiet. They weren’t even drinking, not that he was fool enough to point this out. There’s no way this would last, but only if it could?

When they decided they were tired, there was a new awkwardness. Things were normal again, so they should all go to their own rooms, right? But they’d been sleeping together for years now, and were really used to it. Nobody wanted to actually _say_ anything, but they were really unsure what they should do.  
Nathan decided, since everyone had been sleeping in his bed, to simply go there and see who joined him. And so off he went, leaving them to figure it out without him.

Nathan got into bed, marveling that he could actually get _between_ the sheets again. It was nice to have his room back. It was.... Oh hell, it was kind of lonely actually.  
The door opened, and Toki and Skwisgaar came in, looking a little unsure if they should be there. Nathan just grinned and patted the bed, and they slipped in happily. Pickles showed up a few minutes later, crawling over them all to his usual spot. “Murderface is naught comin’. He thinks it’s gay to keep sleepin’ together.”  
Toki shrugged, “If he wants to be’s missing goodnite kisses, that’s his problem.”  
“Oh dude.... I don’t think we’re gonna be doing that anymore.”

They all had trouble falling asleep. No Murderface, no sex, and not even goodnight kisses. It felt like they shouldn’t even snuggle anymore, now that they were alive again. Because that would be pretty gay. So they lay there in the dark, somewhat stiffly, not touching. Eventually, finally, they fell asleep.  
But of course when they woke up, they were all wrapped around each other, as usual. It was just so comfortable, it was really hard to remember why they weren’t supposed to do this anymore. 

Skwisgaar unwrapped himself from Toki, and left to go get his guitar. He needed to practice, he needed to prove to himself that he was still the best. But mostly, he just needed to _play_.  
When he got to his room, he saw that the butler had kept his word. There, sitting on the bed next to his guitar, was a new pack of strings. Skwisgaar immediately set to work restringing and tuning it.  
He sat on his bed, playing. It was funny, he hadn’t been in here much since he died, it had been too much of a reminder of all he’d lost. Now, it felt like everything was right again.

Toki woke up when Skwisgaar left. It felt strange, and that bothered him. Ever since they died, Skwisgaar had hardly left his side, and he’s gotten used to the constant company. Well, it looked like he was going to have to learn to amuse himself again. Maybe models would still be entertaining? He _did_ have a few unfinished ones, right?  
He climbed off the bed and hesitantly went to his room.  
Unlike the others, Toki had not been in his own room at all since he died. He had been secretly afraid that his father was waiting for him in there, irrational yes, but still scary.  
Everything was exactly the same. Everything was right where he’d left it long ago. His father was not there. He let out a sigh of relief, and entered the room.

Nathan and Pickles woke up, looked at each other, and moved apart. Then they got up, and left the room together.  
Charles intercepted them in the hallway, “Pickles, I have some bad news. Your new drum heads and cymbals won’t get here until tomorrow morning. I tried, but that’s the best I could do.”  
Pickles just nodded, “That’s okie, another day won’t kill us. Oooh, bad choice of words.”  
“Yes, yes it was. Very well then, that’s all.” He left, needing to get back to business. Their return had him buried in a gigantic mountain of paperwork. 

Toki had wandered out, and was watching TV with Murderface. Nathan and Pickles joined them. They were doing their best to ignore Skwisgaar’s absence, but it was like trying not to look at a burning building.  
“Damn dude, I haven’t seen ya without Skwis in so long, it’s pretty fuckin’ weird.”  
“Ya, I guess he doesn’t needs me no more now that he’s not deads.”  
“Wow. That’s cold.”  
“Schrew him, you shtill got ush.”  
Pickles, the least concerned about what might count as gay, gave him a quick hug.  
“Thanks Pickle, at least you’s still nice.”

Charles noticed the steady stream of women on the security cameras. It seemed that Skwisgaar was trying to make up for lost time. Oh well, they’d all been screened for security purposes, let him have his fun.  
He was looking forward to hearing them practice tomorrow. Very soon they would have to think about recording or touring, something. Having never had a band come back from the dead before, he was a bit unsure on the protocol. But he did know that if they didn’t do something rather quickly, the fans would probably tear the Haus down.

 

And so another day passes, slowly and uneventfully.  
Nathan finally tromped off to bed, leaving the others to follow or not. Toki and Pickles showed up rather quickly, crawling in with him. Murderface was still not coming, and now they’d lost Skwisgaar too. It felt like it was happening too fast, they all felt a little lost.  
Oh what the hell, Nathan stretched his arms out. They both snuggled to his chest, and he wrapped his arms around them, holding them.  
Things were changing.  
They went to sleep.

 

Since they’d all still been waking up early, practice was scheduled for noon. Pickles had run off early to reassemble his kit with all the new parts. Skwisgaar was sitting on the couch, playing his guitar. Murderface had a beer. Oh right.... they could drink beer again. Nathan just had to go get one too. Then Pickles came back, and had to join in. Beer.... death would have been so much more entertaining if they’d still been able to drink.  
And so by practice time, they were happily buzzed. They all headed to the studio.

The music was wonderful, they sounded as good as they ever had. Being dead for years hadn’t hurt their talent any, at least.  
But then the picking started. “Toki, I am knowing dat you’s been deads, but dat is no excuses to be playing like dildos.”  
“Screw you Skwisgaar, that sounded just fines.”  
“Oh dude no, don’t start this shit again. You’ve been best friends for years.”  
“Heys! We is havings a privates conversations here.”  
“Um, no Skwisgaar, it’s not private. You’re like, in the middle of the studio. With all of us.”

“Toki, you is just jealousys that all de ladies be wantings me.”  
“You’s just pretending you don’t wants me insteads!”  
“Whys would I’s be wantings you?”  
“Oh sure, pretends you didn’t scream my name all those times when-“  
“Toki! We’re _not_ talkin’ about all that! Jest shut up!”  
“Well why the fucks not? Is we just going to pretends it all didn’t happen?”  
“Yes. That’s exactly what we’re gonna do. Starting now.”

Toki pouted, Skwisgaar looked smug, and Pickles decided it was time to drink more. They all wandered off, to do whatever.  
Skwisgaar went to pick out the day’s lineup of groupies, for sex of course.  
Toki decided to try to play some video games, it would be something to do.  
Pickles collected a couple bottles, and parked himself on the couch to get really drunk.  
Murderface decided to join him.  
Nathan, having nothing better to do, drank with them.  
Charles noted the changes with a sigh. Well, he’d known it was too good to last.

And so the day passed.  
Nathan went to get another beer, and was intercepted by Toki. He looked very serious. “Nathan, I wants to ask you somethings.”  
“Uh, why me?”  
“Skwisgaar won’t talk to me, he’s just screwing sluts. Pickle is too drunk, and Murderface is being a dick agains.”  
Oh. Well, what is it?”  
Toki seemed to lose his nerve, “Fucks. Maybes I tells you later.”  
He turned and went back in the direction he’d come from.  
Nathan just shrugged, and got his beer.

Pickles was completely wasted, and finding everything hilarious. He was amusing himself by pointing to various household objects (and people) and yelling, “CINNAMON BUNS!”  
Murderface was almost as drunk, and delighting in his ability to piss on things (and people) again.  
Nathan was drinking with them, but at a much slower pace, and out of Murderface’s range.  
Toki didn’t really feel like getting drunk, so he mostly just played a few more video games.  
Skwisgaar, of course, was in his bedroom.  
The day passed.

 

Toki wasn’t used to being ignored anymore, it sucked. He decided to go confront Skwisgaar.  
The door was locked, so he banged on it. “Skwisgaar!”  
“Goes away Toki, I’s busys.” This caused his ‘guests’ to giggle madly.  
“Noes. Not until you come outs and talks to me.”  
The door opened, and Skwisgaar stepped out into the hall (naked) and crossed his arms. “Whats?”  
“Why’s you acting like this? I takes care of your ass for years, and as soon as yous can fuck goils again, you treats me like shit.”  
Skwisgaar smirked and grabbed Toki, kissing him. “Theres, somethings for you. Now go plays.”  
“Skwisgaar.... yous really a dick when yous not dead.”  
“I knows Toki, I knows. Now goes away, I’s busy.” And he went back in, shutting the door.

Toki was pissed. Everything was changing so fast, why was he the only one who seemed to care? He just wanted to talk to somebody about it.  
Pickles was essentially unconscious at this point, but Murderface was still looking for new targets to pee on. Best to just avoid them for now.  
That left Nathan, but he had disappeared. Oh, it was kind of late, maybe he went to bed?  
Toki went to check.

Nathan wasn’t asleep when Toki crawled in bed with him. He’d been wondering if any of them would show up.  
“Nathan? Why is we just supposed to forgets about everything we all dids?”  
“Um, I don’t know. Because it’s so gay now?”  
“But whys? What’s differents?”  
“Well, we were dead, so it didn’t count? I mean, it was fine at the time, but I don’t really want to dwell on the fact that I’ve had all of your dicks up my ass, and vice-versa. Do you?”  
“Well, when you puts it that way, no, not reallys.”  
They lay quietly for a bit, thinking.

“Uh, you know what we should do? We should just like, get some groupies sent up. That would help.”  
“I don’t really likes taking goils to my room, just doesn’t feels right.”  
“Oh. Where do you take them then?”  
“Other places. Empty room, whatevers.”  
“Oh, well, you wanna pick some and stay here? Bed’s big enough.”  
“You mean has sexes with the goils, in the same beds? Isn’t that weirds?”  
“Nah, it’ll be fun. Besides, after the last few years, I don’t think anything we do could be weird anymore.”  
Nathan grabbed his laptop and pulled up the security gate cameras. “Okay, I want that one, which one do you want?”  
Toki considered, and pointed. Nathan grabbed his dethphone and called the gate guard, “Okay, I need you to send that chick in front, yeah her, and that one over there.... no, the one next to her... yeah.... send them up to my room. Like now.”

 

Charles was checking his monitors. Pickles was passed out on the couch, oh well. He’d be fine.  
Skwisgaar had finally tossed out the last of the groupies, and was currently sleeping off a truly marathon sex binge.  
Nathan and Toki were in Nathan’s bed, with some groupies they’d had brought up. Well, it looked like they were having fun.  
Murderface had ordered a groupie brought in as well, but it seemed he’d already lost any charm he had found while dead, and she didn’t look too enthusiastic.

 

The next day, things seemed to be pretty much back to normal, or as normal as things ever were where Dethklok was involved. The new closeness they had initially displayed had completely vanished, and the ‘not caring’ rule seemed to be back in full effect. The speed at which this had happened was truly frightening.  
It was if they hadn’t been dead for years, like no time had really passed.  
They had come a full circle.


End file.
